Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
