Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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