I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
