Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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