Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize