I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize