I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
