I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
