Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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