I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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