i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I'm too high and old for this...
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
