Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
