He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I have fence marks all over my body
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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