we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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