Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
where are my eyebrows?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
