I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
