My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
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And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
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He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize