what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
