All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
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Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
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Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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