my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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