I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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