Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
