We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
