Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Your mouth is God's brothel.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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