Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
