We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I party with great urgency now.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
