The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
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