His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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