I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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