I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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