do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
