I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
