You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize