At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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