I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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