She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
