Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
