The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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