It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
