I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
The air taste purple.
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