u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
