I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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