It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
