Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
