craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
