Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
