Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
