Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
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just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
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All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
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