Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
