i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
