big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
