Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
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i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
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In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
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