Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
