i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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