Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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