If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Randomize
