I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize