when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
