no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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