She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
